Leah is 5 months old!

I was thinking today how happy I am that Leah is still so small. Then I realized she is now 5 months old and time is going by way too quickly. She has mastered rolling over (without the help of one of her siblings). But, she often gets herself stuck on her belly or tangled up in a toy or even caught in the slats of her crib. Way too soon she will figure that one out also.

As hard as I find motherhood, I feel so very very blessed. Leah brings joy to my heart and peace. I wonder if she is lighthearted. Does she find joy and loveliness in everything? I wonder these things because if one of her siblings is having a tantrum and I happen to glance at Leah, she is smiling. If I'm having a stern-mommy-moment and happen to peak at Leah, she is smiling and may even giggle or laugh out loud and coo and babble. Instantly my heart is lifted, my frustration dissipates, if even for just a moment.

She awoke this evening as I was climbing into bed. Belen had been frightened and come in for a reassuring hug. Just as Leah was settling back to sleep (without a peep) I decided to nurse her hoping to avoid the 3 a.m. feeding she's been asking for all week. As she finished eating, she and I sitting in a rocking chair in a darkened bedroom illuminated only by a generic plug-in night light. I laid her sleeping body to my chest, her head on my shoulder, soft snores, her warm regular breath tickling my neck. Gently I stroked her small, delicate back and savored her squishy deliciousness. It is a moment I hope to remember forever. It is a moment of pure awe, pure joy. It was a moment that I felt I was doing exactly what I was meant to do. A quiet but tremendously gratifying moment.

I am trying to savor Leah's infancy. I missed Camden's because a severe case of post partum depression robbed me of the experience. I remember very little. Leah may be our last and I want to soak up all her loveliness. I want to watch her learn how to master the use of her body, discover her toes, and "play" with her siblings.

I love watching Camden who is fiercely protective and very proud of his baby sister talk and play with her.

Belen can make Leah laugh like no one else. Leah has also learned to imitate Belen and has begun saying "dah dah dah" Belen has also become interested in learning to take care of Leah, picking her up when she cries, changing diapers, etc. that will sure cone in handy!

Leah has learned to blow raspberries and when she's upset, Leah will babble fiercely. Almost like she's telling me off in babble. It's absolutely adorable.

It's hard to imagine that all too soon these three will find things to fight about. I hope, instead, they will find things they can learn from each other. They are so very different from one another. And I love them each so very very much.

Leah's 5 month Stats:
Weight 15 lbs 6 oz
Length 25 1/2 inches